I think I love you...
I honestly have never felt like this for anyone before as cliché as that sounds...
Maybe it's just my naive heart screaming out for some love since all of the 18 years I have lived on this planet I have not once been told by a guy that they love me, I have never had my hair swept behind my ear and then been kissed, I have never.....well lets not dwell on what I haven't done because that is quite a long list.
Every time I see you my heart literally stops beating....I can't stop thinking about you, I dream about you all the time, I get so flustered when I try to speak to you even though I act as if everything is fine and dandy....well it's not, this past year in which I have had the pleasure of your company I have fallen more and more for you which I find quite sad because I know it could never be! You are my teacher....you have a girlfriend and as of 6 months ago you are a father. I hate myself for feeling this way because if something were to happen between us, I would hate myself and probably you for being the type of man who cheats on his girl.
Well, I just have one more year of being around you and while being in your company is what gets me out of bed in the morning, I just know it will be torture to have to see you every day and not be able to express myself to you. I do sometimes get the feeling that you feel the same and see you looking...no, staring at me, and that makes me feel special but also like a horrible person because I am doing everything that I hate, wanting a taken man.
anyway...I am rambling but I just had to tell you somehow how I feel and I hope to stop feeling this way because it is tearing me apart from the inside out.
I do believe that I will always remember this love but I just hope that it becomes a fond memory rather than me having to dwell in the madness....I love you....and you will never know.
who is this?
that was beautiful and I am sorry to cause you so much grief! I also hope you can find a way to move on and really appreciate you pouring your heart out to me.