I'm not asking you to change, I'm asking you to improve.
I hate the way you think things will go your way. You could be a really cool person, but you first have to stop being an asshole to the people who care about you. The people that you bring close and then push away are more hurt than you think. Please, for the good of relationships you have with those that care about you, make amends.
P.S. I am a girl that used to be close to you, that you ASKED to push away.