Never to see you.
I'm not even sure who I'm writing this to. Maybe someone out there knows how I feel, and can relate, and you'll know you aren't alone in this world feeling this way.
Being gay is really difficult. The community is mostly about sleeping with each other, and I've seen quite a bit of alcohol and drug use from these guys in my time. Being someone who wants a relationship is incredibly difficult. It's really a lonely existence. I've tried dating, and I've had so many bad experiences. I've resolved myself to being alone.
It's sad to watch my ideals flame flicker and fade, but I guess it's time to say goodbye. To the person who understands who I am, and how I feel, I'm sorry that this is how it is. I'm sorry you have to endure a pain like yours.